Ex
by AsphodelRose87
Summary: I always knew you had a past. The problem is, I forced myself to believe that this past was in the past. When in truth, I always sensed her presence lingering in the back of your mind, like a dormant volcano that we both wished would never erupt. Despite that, I did my best to ignore the signs; to put the blind eye everytime I noticed you losing yourself in the memories...


**A/N: This one-shot is written on the POV of Ginny Weasley**** as she reflects about the end of her four-year relationship with Harry Potter. And no, I am not JK Rowling or Warner.  
**

I always knew you had a past. The problem is, I forced myself to believe that this past was in the past. When in truth, I always sensed her presence lingering in the back of your mind, like a dormant volcano that we both wished would never erupt. Despite that, I did my best to ignore the signs; to put the blind eye everytime I noticed you losing yourself in the memories you had from when she was in your life. Oh well, can you really blame me? You told me that she had married another man! Everything I ever wanted was to be happy and to make you happy in that process. But your smile was never as genuine with me as it was when you were with her. Our base was strong, but our walls were paper thin. That was never meant to last.

When you told me that fatidical evening that like a ghost, she had come back to your life, I've never been so angry. I resented you, for still nurture feelings for that muggle ex-girlfriend of yours after all these four years we were dating. I felt betrayed when you admitted that both of you had been busy catching up the _old times_ when I inquired about the two empty wine glasses laying on your kitchen's counter. I was outraged when you refused to give us a second chance. But above everything else, I was angry for allowing myself to play that role. The role of the_ backup plan_, the second choice of your love life.

I dashed to the Burrow, my parents home, my safe haven. I cried like a baby on my mother's lap as I revealed to my parents that we were no longer together. Next morning, all my five brothers had joined me there for breakfast, even your best friend, to demonstrate their indignation with your selfish attitudes and their support for me. Charlie stroked my hair as he swore that somehow he would make you pay for every single tear I had shed. George got a huge approval from all my other brothers when he informed me that he already had sent an embarrassing prank on your way. Even Mum did not have the heart to tell him off at that time. Only Dad was able to say something that showed some sort of sympathy for what you were going through.

"I am feeling disappointed with Harry, but I cannot say that I did not see this coming, Ginny. Yesterday, when Harry brought over that muggle woman and their daughter here to inform us that he had just found out he was the father of that lovely little girl, I knew it was just a matter of time for them to get back together. I cannot say that I agree with his actions, especially considering that muggle woman is married, but I understand that he is in a tough spot. I'm only glad that he decided to play fair with you, and broke up it sooner than to allowing things to get out of control..."

My Mum nodded in agreement, even though later she claimed that the muggle woman had probably used a love potion on you, as according to her it was the only way that would explain how you had fallen back in love for that muggle so fast. Ron and George suffocated a laugh at her suggestion, but Bill seemed to believe that Mum's hypothesis might hold some merits. I just hid my face with my hands and hoped that I would soon wake up from that nightmare.

.

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A few days later I saw your daughter's picture in the newspaper for the first time. Holly was her name. She looked adorable. I cried as I saw her long brunette curls and her bright red squared glasses. She has your eyes, but it is her mother's smile imprinted on her face that made me realise that there was no coming back for you and me.

I know how much you wanted to be a Dad and I started mourning the children we would never have a chance to have. I would never get to know how they would have looked like. I felt hollow, as I looked to the paparazzi's pictures taken at the Ministry's cafeteria of your daughter and your muggle affair, and I wondered if both of you were already together when that picture was taken.

.

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My friends were all very supportive of me when they found out that we were no longer together. Even Angelina, despite her been on the final trimester of her pregnancy, was trying to set up some random date with her cousin's friend for me. I went on with it, as I was unsure of what else I could do, even though I didn't feel like getting to know anyone at that time. Now I wish I had listened to my gut feelings and had spent my free time with my cat instead. That guy was nice, but he was not you. He did not mess his hair when he was anxious like you do; he did not have your green eyes or your smile; he did not have your smell. I just spent the whole meal trying to find a polite excuse to leave him as soon as it would be socially acceptable. I went back home and I cried that evening, promising to myself that would be the last time I would shred a tear for you.

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The next morning it was Dad's birthday lunch, and a big part of me was feeling anxious about the slight perspective of seeing you again that day. Would you still have the nerve of going there, even though we were no longer together? I was sure that Mum would never uninvite you to a nice meal at the Burrow. In the end, I was glad to see that you did not turn up. However, your daughter somehow ended up there escorted by Ron and Hermione. It was something to do with giving you a break from your Auror duties, but I did not buy it. I could see that they just had wanted an excuse to give you and her muggle mother some lonely time.

I could not help but fall in love with your little girl. Holly has lots of you in her, and I mean that beyond her good looks. Some of my brothers like George were quickly charmed by her cuteness, while others like Bill, just looked at your four-year-old daughter as if they were offended by her presence in our childhood home. I found that silly, and I ask them to lay off. I exchanged some few words with Holly, before Hermione quickly warned me not to mention that she is your daughter, as apparently, nobody had the heart to tell the poor kid that the muggle man she grew up believing to be her father was actually not her true Dad. I sighed, resenting your muggle lover more than I already did, as I wondered how you were coping with that weird dynamic of being a father but being unable to inform your child that you were her Dad.

When I was at home later that evening I received an owl from Mum telling me that Harry, his daughter and his muggle lady were staying that night at the Burrow. Mum also confessed to me that she had put the antidote of love potion inside your tea, but it had been pointless, as the muggle had not drugged you. After you noticed Mum's attempted, you decided to inform my parents that you and that Muggle woman was going to get married as soon her divorce is approved. Even though I could feel Mum's complete displease with the whole situation, I could not help but feel a little bit betrayed for her to allow that woman to spend the night at Ron's old bedroom. I also could not believe how quickly Harry had decided to propose. That woman was not the right person for you. If I remembered well, both of you were always breaking up when you were teenagers. Why would that be any different now? You were clearly been blinded by your feelings. I felt angry with you for jumping in that sick relationship so fast. I could see that soon or later you would end up breaking your heart again, and I wasn't sure If I wanted to remain patiently waiting to mend your broken pieces this time.

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I was at the Burrow when the family clock told us that Ron was in mortal danger. I apparated to Hogsmead with Charlie and my parents immediately to the rescue. Hermione was injured; Ron in mortal danger; your daughter had been kidnapped. We took them and the other people who were injured to St. Mungos. I knew that it was a question of time before I saw you again, but when you and the muggle entered inside Hermione's room while Mum and I were in there making her some company, my blood went cold. My heart twisted in such a painful way that I think that I wished that I had been hit by a Cruciatus curse instead. I'm sure it would have been less painful. But I did not have such luck, as I swallowed that bitter taste that invaded my lips when I saw you entering Hermione's room holding the muggle woman's hands. I just wanted to get away from that hospital room as soon as possible. Your muggle did not seem very comfortable with my presence either. She was about to leave when I told her to stay, and I left the room as soon as possible closely followed by my mother.

As we walked towards the place where the rest of the family had been waiting for news about Ron's state, I couldn't help but wonder what you and your Muggle had been doing that day that you left your daughter under the care of my brother and his fiance once again. It was then that I realised that it was Valentine's day, the first one we haven't spend together for the past four years. I felt a tear coming to my eyes, but I refused to let it go, as I had a promise to myself to keep.

Later, I saw her walking and waiting alongside Hermione, who had already been discharged by the healers, as her injuries were simple in comparison to my brothers'. I notice that Harry is no longer there with them, and Hermione informs me that he had left in order to help out following leads that might take him to his daughter's kidnappers. For the first time then I look at the muggle woman, Annabel, with different eyes. At that moment she was more than the muggle that had stolen you from me. She was the mother of a child who went missing. Your child. The healers say that Ron's case is finally stable and they allow one person at the time in. Hermione goes first, and she asks us to keep an eye on the muggle's protection for her, while she goes to see Ron. The muggle seats as far from us as possible. She looks afflicted, but also very uncomfortable with all that situation. I pity her a bit, after all, she just had her daughter kidnapped. However, I don't want to do anything to make her feel more comfortable with that awkward situation.

Hermione comes out from Ronald's room, and she decides to take the muggle woman back to Harry's place. I remain at the hospital with Mum and Dad, until it was too late and I send both of them away to have a little bit of rest at home. I was there, almost sleeping on a chair next to my brother's bed when I saw you entering my brother's hospital room looking more tired than I had ever seen before. My heart started beating fast. That was the first time we had been alone since that fatidical night when you had broken up with me.

"Gin..." you whisper acknowledging my presence as you approach Ron's bed. I feel like I need to hold back my immediate urge to hug and kiss you. "how... how is he doing?"

It takes me a while for me to find my voice, as I tried my best to answer you as normal as possible.

"The healer just informed me a few minutes ago that he is finally responding to the treatment... Ron is going to survive"

You dropped a breath you did not know you were holding.

"Do you know if he will have any sequel?"

"The healer said he cannot say that yet..." your smell gets on my nostrils as you get closer from where I am now standing and I struggle to remain calm. I wonder if you can notice how much your mere presence in that room is making me feel. You touch Ron's face and then you turn your attention to me. We are less than a meter apart, and I can almost feel your breath.

"Gin, I... I wanted to say..." you started unsurely, and I dared to wonder if I should feel any hope. "I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry for breaking up the way I did..."

I raise an eyebrow and wondered if I heard it right.

"Are you really?"

"Yes. I know it was out of the blue, but... you must understand that the way she came back to my life... was also... unexpected..."

I snorted feeling a strong sense of indignation by my own assumption that maybe, just maybe you had a change of heart.

"Harry, please... spare me the details..."

You nodded in agreement, and I think I can spot a glint of sadness and remorse from your features.

"You might not believe me Gin, but I care a lot about you..." You said that stroking my hair. I closed my eyes as I tried to remain calm. All my body was begging for the feeling of your lips on mine, at least for one last time. "I would love to able to become friends with you one day..."

You wanted me to be your friend. That was too much for me to take. I dodged from your touch as if I was dodging from a bludger.

"Harry... if you really care about me, please, just leave me alone..."

"Gin..."

"Just leave me alone!" I said a bit harsher than I had intended, but at least you did what I ask. Only a few minutes after you left that I realised that I did not even ask any questions about the progress of your daughters' case. I then feel like I was been an awful person for snapping at you in such a stressful moment for you.

.

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I decided that the best thing I could do for my own mental wellbeing was to drown myself on my work. If I wasn't playing Quidditch, I was either training, watching a match or reading a book about it. The logic was that the less free time I had, the less my mind would drift towards you. I've never been more tired in my life, but that strategy worked marvellously. I was finally functioning as an almost normal person. I say almost because eventually I always ended up been exposed by your presence somehow, either by some news from the Daily Prophet, or when a friend or family member occasionally made comments about you and your family. I was relieved for you when I learned that your daughter had been found safe and sound, but I most definitely would never go out of my way to congratulate you for solving that case. I kept a low profile and tried avoiding you from all costs.

Despite that, I knew that soon or later I would have to face you again. You were going to be the best man at my brother's wedding in less than two months, and there was no way for me to avoid that. But it was just one week before that wedding that I meet him. We had been introduced before, but we never really interacted beyond formalities. I had stayed behind my team to do some extra-practising for a friendly match when I was joined by a mysterious player. From his flying style, it was clear that he was a seeker. I tried to ignore him, as I carried on doing my own thing, but he had such an incredible technique that it was hard to keep my eyes off him. He did so many unbelievable twists and turns, that for a moment I thought it had to be you under the effects of a Polyjuice potion or a glamour spell, after all, Victor Krum has always been much more muscular and bulkier than you will ever be.

It took me a few moments, but soon I recognised the famous Bulgarian player that once was the Drumstrang champion during the Triwizard Tournament. That knowledge brought me memories that were to close to you, so I decided that maybe it was best to call it a day and go back to my hotel room. However, he followed me and started to engage in a conversation before I had any chance to leave the Quidditch pitch in peace. Even though I wasn't in the mood to talk to him - or anyone for that matter - somehow, Victor ended up convincing me to go out and have dinner with him that night. Everything I know is that I was on his flat a few hours later willing to sleep with another man that wasn't you for the very first time.

Victor's experienced hands were much bigger, his grip was firmer but his movements were slow but precise. I enjoyed the feeling of his muscular biceps over my body, thinking how silly I had been for believing for a moment that I would never find anyone as good as you were. He took me throughout the night, and I left his flat the next day feeling that maybe there was life for me after you. That time, I did not think that Krum wanted anything else from me than a one night stand. However, he surprised me with a letter the next day, and then things began to become more intimate than just an occasional shag between two familiar strangers.

He confessed that he knew that you were my ex-boyfriend, and he told me that he knew exactly how it was like to be abandoned and deceived in a forsaken relationship. We reached this silent agreement of never talk about each other's past relationships from that moment on. We went on secret dates on Muggle restaurants, we went off on a couple of broom rides, we spent sleepless nights exploring each other's bodies and exchanging drunken confessions. It took me a while for me to realise that our small fling that had started so casually is slowly growing more than I had thought it possibly would.

.

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Ron and Hermione's wedding come and go as a massive gigantic blur. I've never remembered being drunker in my entire life. I was already feeling a bit tipsy before I even arrived at my parents' home, which was where the ceremony and party were happening. I see you, the muggle and your daughter, but I everything I do is down another drink and feel numb. Luna seems to be the only one who noticed my despair and she decides to babysit me for the rest of the day. I love Luna. She is a good friend. I am so lucky to have her around!

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I know I still nurture some weird mixed feelings towards you, Harry, but I can't help but grow my affection to Victor every day a little bit more. I decide to invite him as my date to the battle of Hogwarts memorial ceremony. I did not do that because I was feeling ready to introduce him to everyone as my new boyfriend, but because I know that I will be much more comfortable and able to cope with seeing you and your muggle lover again if Victor is there by my side.

But nothing could have prepared me to see your muggle fiance looking stunningly pregnant. The first thing that came to my mind when I noticed that, was how did I miss to notice that during my brother's wedding. But then I noticed that I am not the only one surprised by the news. For instance, my mother looked like she was going to have a mental breakdown, and if Hargrid's overenthusiastic reaction was anything genuine, the half-giant had also been surprised by the news. However, luckily for him, he felt happy about it. For me, Annabel's pregnancy just came as a slap on my face. That was the name of your muggle fiance. Victor noticed my uneasiness and tightened his grip on my hand to give me comfort. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I feel like I should have prepared myself better for that moment. You, your pregnant fiance and your daughter look like a perfect family. I'm feeling happy when I am spending time with Victor, and I am not sure why watching the three of you together bugs me so much, but it does. I cannot help it. I might be a witch, but I am still only a human.

When the ceremony is over, I force myself to walk towards your family to quickly congratulate you and your future wife on your new addition. I am then informed that they are actually twins. I decide to hastily say goodbye to my family, as I don't want to stay there any longer. Victor take me to his place and he makes me some hot green tea. We spend the rest of the day cuddling each other in silence.

.

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A few weeks later I heard someone knocking on my room. I was one hundred per cent sure that it was my flatmate giving me back the dress that she had borrowed the previous night. Little I know that I was one hundred per cent wrong. It was you, Harry, knocking on my bedroom door. At first, I thought that I had to be hallucinating. I started to make mental notes of everything I had eaten that day, as I was sure that hallucination must have had George's fingers all over it. But you invite yourself in, and I start to realise that it was actually happening. You were in my bedroom. Once again.

I remain speechless as I started to remember the infinite number of scenarios that I had imagined and day-dreamed with you coming back and begging me for forgiveness, and me refusing to get back to your arms again. Would this actually happen now? Would I be able to be strong enough to do that, now that you were there, so close to me? Hell no. Your proximity made me realise that I would not think twice before I fall back into your arms.

"Er... Ginny? Would you mind having a quick word?"

I frown, as I immediately dislike your tone of voice. I noticed that you are feeling uncomfortable, but determined. My hopes that you came after me to make amends to our old relationship starts to vanish.

"What do you want, Harry?" I say dryly.

"Gin, I... I was very happy when I saw you with Krum that day. He is a nice guy..."

I hold my urge to throw a bat-bogey hex on your face. Yes, that is definitely not what I have been hoping to hear from you that night.

"Yes, Victor is very nice indeed..." I confirm trying to urge you with my body posture to say at once whatever you came to say or bugger off.

"Well, I..." You say as you stopped to reconsider what you came there to say. You then got a golden envelope from inside your robe's pocket and hand that to me. I grabbed it with a questioning expression on my face "I just... well, I just thought that it would be nice to see you and him at the wedding, you know?"

"You. Had. The. Fucking. Nerve. To. Come. Over. To. MY. FUCKING. PLACE. To. Invite. Me. To. YOUR. BLOODY. WEDDING. WITH. THAT. SODDING. MUGGLE. How dare you? How can you be so daft?" My anger is such, that I don't even realise that I had reached from my wand. However, you quickly disarmed me before I could do any damage. You still are one of the Ministry's top Auror's after all...

You looked completely speechless. You remained there, holding both of our wands with your hand for a while before you recovered and directed me the word again.

"Sorry Gin, I had no idea that you still... I thought you and Krum were..."

"Victor and I are doing GREAT!"

"But why...? Can't we just become friends?"

"Just get lost, Harry! Okay? Just because I am getting to know somebody it doesn't mean that I'm ready to become your best friend forever! For Godric's sake! Get lost!"

"But Gin..."

"GET LOST!"

You sigh and place my wand as far away from my hands that you possibly can and you leave the room. I don't know then, but many years are going to have passed the next time we will see each other again.

**A/N - So this was Ginny Weasly POV of the things that happened on my multi-chapter story, Lost Connections. Just a reminder that there are always many different POVs of a single situation.**


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